Tick. Tick. Tick
What is a bad day? when the alarm fails to go off, the bus is late, traffic is in gridlock, your manager yells at you, it rains and you forgot your umbrella and youre wearing your Manolos.
Ive never believed in bad days. We like to string all the bad together as we do with the good. Today was no exception. I wasnt having a bad day. I was just being myself- a time bomb just waiting to explode, and today the timer ticked to 0.
For 2 weeks now, I have been comtemplating turning 27. I have been waiting with bated breathe for the results from INSEAD, my apparently successful weeklong courtship with the most recent suitor had fizzled away, and my annoyance with my company , run by a round table of incompetent fools , was simmering to the surface.
This morning, I celebrated with my mentor after successfully obtaining an internship for his 18 year old at my useless company. We chatted candidly over a coffee a chocolate cookie, and he agreed with me- my managers deserved to be shot. As I walked back to my office in the warm sunshine, my mood was light, lighter than it had been in a while. I felt inspired, as always, by my mentor. Then i heard someone call out to me , over the music playing from my ipod . It was him- Mr S. the only man i nearly fell in love with in this city. We made small talk, we squinted at each other through the glaring sun, but even then, I knew we had missed each other. (perhaps i was just projectin...). He gave me a warm, long hug and we went out separate ways.
back at the office, I was feeling fragile once more. My period was making me more emotional than usual, and his reply to my invitation to my 27th birthday party ( i will be in town and would love to attend), made my heart jump and my stomach feel sick.
Then came the straw that broke the camels back. Mr team leader in name, aka I really have no responsiblities, but i love pretending I am running a nuclear power plant, blatantly tried to palm off the most boring of his duties to ME!
I fumed, I turned red and I blew up. There was no way I was going to be bullied by him. He was less than amused by my explosion in front of the entire team, and pulled me into a room to reprimand me. Thanks to my raging hormones, I burst into tears. Ah the shame of showing weakness in the workpplace. Nevertheless I managed to be petulant and insubordinate whilst contributing to deforestation with the number of tissues i was using to blow my nose. Fuck off, I dont need to talk about my problems, much less with you.
Of course, I then had to re-glamourise and head back to my clients office and if i really believed in bad days, i was definlintey having one. There are 2 buildins, with 7 levels each, and my meeting that afternoon was with a new client who sat right behind Mr S. Sigh.
Perhaps we are all ticking away.. just waiting for that final moment.. the timer has been restarted.. for now.
Ive never believed in bad days. We like to string all the bad together as we do with the good. Today was no exception. I wasnt having a bad day. I was just being myself- a time bomb just waiting to explode, and today the timer ticked to 0.
For 2 weeks now, I have been comtemplating turning 27. I have been waiting with bated breathe for the results from INSEAD, my apparently successful weeklong courtship with the most recent suitor had fizzled away, and my annoyance with my company , run by a round table of incompetent fools , was simmering to the surface.
This morning, I celebrated with my mentor after successfully obtaining an internship for his 18 year old at my useless company. We chatted candidly over a coffee a chocolate cookie, and he agreed with me- my managers deserved to be shot. As I walked back to my office in the warm sunshine, my mood was light, lighter than it had been in a while. I felt inspired, as always, by my mentor. Then i heard someone call out to me , over the music playing from my ipod . It was him- Mr S. the only man i nearly fell in love with in this city. We made small talk, we squinted at each other through the glaring sun, but even then, I knew we had missed each other. (perhaps i was just projectin...). He gave me a warm, long hug and we went out separate ways.
back at the office, I was feeling fragile once more. My period was making me more emotional than usual, and his reply to my invitation to my 27th birthday party ( i will be in town and would love to attend), made my heart jump and my stomach feel sick.
Then came the straw that broke the camels back. Mr team leader in name, aka I really have no responsiblities, but i love pretending I am running a nuclear power plant, blatantly tried to palm off the most boring of his duties to ME!
I fumed, I turned red and I blew up. There was no way I was going to be bullied by him. He was less than amused by my explosion in front of the entire team, and pulled me into a room to reprimand me. Thanks to my raging hormones, I burst into tears. Ah the shame of showing weakness in the workpplace. Nevertheless I managed to be petulant and insubordinate whilst contributing to deforestation with the number of tissues i was using to blow my nose. Fuck off, I dont need to talk about my problems, much less with you.
Of course, I then had to re-glamourise and head back to my clients office and if i really believed in bad days, i was definlintey having one. There are 2 buildins, with 7 levels each, and my meeting that afternoon was with a new client who sat right behind Mr S. Sigh.
Perhaps we are all ticking away.. just waiting for that final moment.. the timer has been restarted.. for now.
posted by Le SnowQueen at
11:24 AM
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