Why do I feel so crazy?
When I woke up this morning, the rain was coming down. The sky was gray and i could hear the patter of the raing outside. My head was spinning from the lack of sleep, but inside, I felt a little light. Only for it to be extingushed soon after...
My last date, Mr Morroco, was showing obvious indifference. Our initial chemistry had fizzled to a big zero. Little boy V was very concerned about me, seeing that I had lost my voice and had been nursing a sore throat for 3 weeks now. But so what? He is fascinating, because he is so young but so matured. that is about it.
My friend, Mr B, and I, had lunch together. He is a Scorpio, very Scorpio. intense, suspicious, passionate, almost frightening. He spoke to me about his ex gf, someone we both know, and how she had recently been trying to manipulate him again. It pained me to see him in so much agony. I empathise, because I, for one, am fuly aware of what it feels like to be inflicted with such intensity. We both agreed, how tired we were of having lows so low, and highs so high. Of being unable to tear ourselves away from the thoughts that engulf us, of being unable to put on a facade. Perhaps I am a little more skilled in pretending that all is well with me. Virgos, intense as we are, are colder on the outside. He, on the other, has his emotions written on his face.
My throat has been in pain for 3 weeks now. The doctor has suggested a blood test for glandular fever. But what medicine do i take for lonliness? no matter how fantastic my life is, i cannot hide from the fact that i am indeed lonely. As Mr B said to me, he wants someone to want him so bad he can taste it. And that is exactly what it is . I even envy him for being able to put those feelings to words, with no remorse and no apologies for his passion. I , on the other hand , suppresse those emotions, shielding them with a shell of humour and smiles.
but we are both drawn to drama. I fall for mr personalities, men who light up the room , but have little time for anyone but themselves. He falls for psychotic bitches.
its a shame. you would think we woud be made for each other then. But the obvious is, 2 supremely intense people would drive each other crazy. We are both tired, we want to be normal. But what IS normality? I dont know... I have never known. But it is nice to know, that I may be crazy, but i am not alone.
My last date, Mr Morroco, was showing obvious indifference. Our initial chemistry had fizzled to a big zero. Little boy V was very concerned about me, seeing that I had lost my voice and had been nursing a sore throat for 3 weeks now. But so what? He is fascinating, because he is so young but so matured. that is about it.
My friend, Mr B, and I, had lunch together. He is a Scorpio, very Scorpio. intense, suspicious, passionate, almost frightening. He spoke to me about his ex gf, someone we both know, and how she had recently been trying to manipulate him again. It pained me to see him in so much agony. I empathise, because I, for one, am fuly aware of what it feels like to be inflicted with such intensity. We both agreed, how tired we were of having lows so low, and highs so high. Of being unable to tear ourselves away from the thoughts that engulf us, of being unable to put on a facade. Perhaps I am a little more skilled in pretending that all is well with me. Virgos, intense as we are, are colder on the outside. He, on the other, has his emotions written on his face.
My throat has been in pain for 3 weeks now. The doctor has suggested a blood test for glandular fever. But what medicine do i take for lonliness? no matter how fantastic my life is, i cannot hide from the fact that i am indeed lonely. As Mr B said to me, he wants someone to want him so bad he can taste it. And that is exactly what it is . I even envy him for being able to put those feelings to words, with no remorse and no apologies for his passion. I , on the other hand , suppresse those emotions, shielding them with a shell of humour and smiles.
but we are both drawn to drama. I fall for mr personalities, men who light up the room , but have little time for anyone but themselves. He falls for psychotic bitches.
its a shame. you would think we woud be made for each other then. But the obvious is, 2 supremely intense people would drive each other crazy. We are both tired, we want to be normal. But what IS normality? I dont know... I have never known. But it is nice to know, that I may be crazy, but i am not alone.
posted by Le SnowQueen at
1:19 PM
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